I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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