I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
