before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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