I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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