i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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