In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
