he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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