Kiss
Puke
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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