Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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