Are we in a gay sports bar?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
