Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
