dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Come share oat with me in your robe
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
