I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
