Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
