My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
