wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
