Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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