ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
