we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
