I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
