I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just cut my nipple shaving
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
