It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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