Don't make out with my wife yet
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Someone came in the potted fern
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
