If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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