There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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