I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
