i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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