I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
