I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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