She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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