Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
