My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
