Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I will die if light touches me.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
