Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
