This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
