Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize