And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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