Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
