I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
