The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
