If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
