Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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