i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
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I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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