my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
