He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
