You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
