:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
