PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
