We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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