he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
