I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
