Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
