this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
