How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she pinky promised me she was 18
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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