is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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