perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
